I’m Pregnant- now what?

If you are reading this page, our hearts go out to you.  We should start by saying, take a deep breath, God loves you and your community loves you.  Looking on the bright side, hopefully you are only pregnant and you haven’t  contracted a disease that could be much more harmful.  As Pam Stenzel, a renowned public speaker and former crisis pregnancy counselor would say- Pregnancy is curable, disease is a different story.  The tough news is that you have some difficult decisions to make.  Thoughts going through your mind might sound like “What am I going to do about school- will I finish?” or “Will I ever be able to even afford having a child?” and the all time top worry of a pregnant teen- “What will my parents think and say?”  You’ve entered scary territory- it is unchartered in most cases.

First things first- you have to get it out of the way.  If you have loving parents or adults that care for you, you must tell them as soon as possible.  Not tomorrow, not next week- TODAY!  As time goes by, this “problem” will not disappear.  This may be the hardest thing you’ve ever had to do in your life so far, but it is important that you don’t delay.  You must also tell the father of the child, and if he is a minor- you must tell his parents TODAY!  Your two families will need to communicate quite a bit in this situation, and the sooner the communication starts, the better.  If you don’t have a loving parent or guardian and are somewhat “on your own”, please realize, you aren’t alone.  You never are- God loves you, and His children in your community love you too.  You must contact a crisis pregnancy center where counselors are on staff to help you TODAY!  We will list some of these resources on this page for you to call.  If you are the father of this child, these times are what separates the men from the boys.  We encourage you to take an active role in the communication, decision making, and future care of this child.  Any guy can get a girl pregnant, but that doesn’t make you a man or a father.  To be a man and a father takes hard work, willingness to provide support financially and emotionally, and the decision to love and be concerned for the well being of the mother and the child.

Back to the new mom- along with your family or through a crisis pregnancy center, see a doctor as soon as possible.  Not only is it important for your health, but also for the health of your unborn baby.  AVOID- Planned Parenthood Clinics, as these clinics are designed to advise young mothers to abort rather than follow through with a pregnancy without educating young mothers on the physical, psychological, emotional and spiritual consequences of abortion.  You will be approached with several different “options” when speaking with your family and your doctor.  These options will fall into three categories- 1. Have the baby and keep it, 2. Have the baby and give it up for adoption, and 3. Have an Abortion.  All of these options bring difficulty into your life.  Don’t be fooled, no matter what you choose, there will be difficulty and consequences.  When we sin, God still loves us- but He doesn’t shield us from the consequences of our sin.  These we have to deal with.  Today is a new day- a day where you can again make choices- but be warned- educate yourself on the spiritual, emotional, physical, and psychological consequences of your decisions from today forward.

The Options:

1. Have It & Keep It– While DYP sees this as one of the two best options available to you, it carries with it difficulty.  Having a baby puts a damper on your social life, you may be embarrassed as your belly grows among your peers for 9 months, you will require prenatal care with proper nutrition, it is expensive, time consuming, it causes wear and tear on your body, and at the time when your baby is just a baby, it seems extremely unrewarding.  You will work hard, give up many things that you might enjoy for this child, and you won’t hear a thank you from that child any time soon.  Someday you may reap the reward of your child returning love to you, if you truly sacrifice and do what is best for your baby.  When you choose to keep your baby, be proud of yourself because this can be a good choice for you, and a good choice in the eyes of God.  To care for a baby and choose to love it takes a good amount of humility (humbleness), a trait that God loves and values.  It is the hardest option you could choose, but it is a good option if you are able a capable.  Children while they are tough to raise in the early years, can bring a ton of joy into your life as they learn God’s ways and grow.  This is a part of the blessing of raising a child.

2. Adoption Option– We see this as the second of the two best options available to you, but again it carries with it difficulty.  With this option, you are again committing to carrying this child for 9 months.  You will require prenatal care and proper nutrition, it is expensive, it will cause wear and tear on your body, and you may be embarrassed as your belly grows among your peers.  You will stick out, but that’s ok, this is a good choice in the eyes of God.  If you feel that you are unable or incapable of raising your child, giving it up for adoption gives your child a chance at life.  Many great people in this world were adopted as children.  The difficulty in this option lies in the fact that you must separate from the living being that you have spent 9 months getting to know in your womb.  This separation isn’t something that happens easy in most cases.  There are serious emotional and psychological effects to consider when giving up a child for adoption.  Severe sadness, separation anxiety, fear for the child, a constant wondering if you did the right thing.  To give a baby up for adoption takes intense mental preparation and acceptance that you will always have a child somewhere in this world.  While this is a difficult choice, it is also a choice that you can be proud of, and a decision that is good in the eyes of God.

3. Get an Abortion– In terms of avoiding the social embarrassment that comes with teen pregnancy, this options seems like it might be a good choice at first glance.  Many teens that consider abortion initially may think that this is the answer and “the way out” of this tremendously difficult situation.  After all, with abortion, there’s no more baby.  No baby, no problem, everyone continues on, life is good right?  Wrong.  While abortion makes it possible for the pregnant teen to continue on with their plans as usual, seemingly as if nothing ever happened, teens and young adults rarely consider the damaging physical, spiritual, emotional, and psychological consequences.  While pre-marital pregnancy is a consequence of sexual sin- there are many more consequences to the sin of aborting a living child.  No one can make this choice but you, and because of that, we implore you to be as educated as possible on the real and true consequences involved.  Let’s take a look at some reasons you may be considering abortion, and some of the physical, psychological, emotional, and spiritual consequences that accompany this act.

 Reasons you might be considering Abortion:

-Worry about the future and your plans becoming completely destroyed

– Worry that you will not be able to afford the costs of having the child or caring for the child.

-Not wanting to “go it alone” as a single parent

-Fear of embarrassment with family and peers

-Fear of telling your parents while not truly knowing what their reaction will be

-Your pregnancy was the result of uninvited sex- date rape where drugs were used to sedate you (Roofies), or violent rape.

-Your pregnancy is the result of sexual abuse by an adult family member or friend.

-Doctors have found through testing that your unborn child may be disabled in some way.

Physical Consequences of Abortion:  Women who undergo abortions subject themselves to many possible physical complications.

-Blood loss during the procedure causing diversion of blood flow to various organs which can result in shock

-When the cervix is dilated, the inside of the uterus, fallopian tubes, and the abdominal cavity are exposed to invasion by bacteria

-Abdominal infection can cause peritonitis and abscess formation

-Severe hemorrhage (bleeding) often follows abortion.

-Instruments can perforate the uterus causing injury, infection, and bleeding to internal organs.

-Women who have abortions increase their risk of breast cancer by 50% according to the Journal of the National Cancer Institute.

-Abortion of a first pregnancy interrupts the natural growth process of the breast, leaving millions of cells at a high risk.

-Future pregnancy failure is increased by 45% with just one previous abortion

-Other complications due to abortion are premature births, tubal pregnancy, sterility, and damage to the cervix

Psychological Consequences of Abortion:

-Post-Abortion Syndrome (PAS)- Women suffering PAS may experience drug and alcohol abuse, personal relationship disorders, sexual dysfunction, repeated abortions, communications difficulties, damaged self esteem, and even attempt suicide.  PAS appears to be a type of pattern of denial which may last for 5 to 10 years before emotional difficulties surface.

-The emergence of chemical abortions poses a new psychological threat to teens in that unlike surgical abortions, these women end up seeing body parts of their unborn children, including developing hands, eyes etc.  This can be so traumatic for women that both patients and researchers involved in these studies recommend that women unprepared for the experience of seeing their aborted children not take the drugs.  The Long-term psychological implications of this fairly new experience have not been studied.

-Studies show that women after having abortions have reoccurring nightmares of children calling them from trash cans of body parts and blood, as presented as testimony by Wanda Franz Ph.D. to a Congressional panel.  When they are reminded of the abortion, “the women re-experienced it with terrible psychological pain…they feel worthless and victimized because they failed at the most natural of human activities – the role of being a mother.”

Emotional Consequences of Abortion: This is a study taken from 260 women who on average had their first abortion 10.6 years prior to being surveyed.  All of these women sought out post-abortion counseling.  Below are results of their survey:

-92% experienced Emotional deadening (Reported either feeling less in touch with their emotions or feeling a “Need to stifle their emotions”)

-86% had increased tendency toward anger and rage.  (48% reported they became more violent when angered)

-86% had a fear of others learning of the abortion or a greater sense of fear for unknown reasons.

-82% had greater feelings of loneliness and isolation

-75% had less self-confidence

-73% experienced sexual dysfunctions (increased pain during intercourse, promiscuity, frigidity, or loss of pleasure)

-63% experienced denial (Respondents were asked, “Was there a period of time when you would have denied the existence of any doubts or negative feelings about your abortion?”  Of those responding yes, the average period of denial that they reported was 5.25 years.)

-58% suffered from insomnia or nightmares

-57% had greater difficulty in maintaining or developing relationships

-56% had suicidal feelings

-53% had increased or began use of drugs or alcohol

-39% developed eating disorders which began after the abortion (binge eating, anorexia, or bulimia)

-28% attempted suicide

Spiritual Consequences of Abortion:

For those that believe in Jesus and God’s laws, abortion is not something that is “God Approved.”  There are many indications in the Bible of how God not only created life, but that life is sacred.  It is a gift from God, and we are asked not to kill as followers of God’s law.  This law was instituted by God, because it protects.  If we follow God’s law, we are protected against all of these consequences that have been listed.  When an abortion is committed, it can like any other sin create a spiritual rift between the one committing the abortion, and God.  It is a rift that if ignored can lead towards a dark path.  If you are pregnant and considering your options- we highly recommend that you avoid abortion as choice of action because it does go against God’s law.  If you have already had an abortion- breathe- God still loves you and your community still loves you.  There is help to deal with the consequences of abortion.  There is psychological, emotional, and spiritual counseling available to you to help you through the confusion and all of these difficult feelings.  Turn to God for strength and open yourself up to learning and growing in faith.  For those with a family member or friend that is pregnant or has had an abortion, do not cast judgment in any way against them.  Instead shower them with the love of Christ, and be there to help and guide, not judge.

Let’s look at what the Bible says about life and know- God has a plan for your baby:

  Psalm 139: 13-16  The Message TranslationOh yes, you shaped me first inside, then out;
      you formed me in my mother’s womb.
   I thank you, High God—you’re breathtaking!
      Body and soul, I am marvelously made!
      I worship in adoration—what a creation!
   You know me inside and out,
      you know every bone in my body;
   You know exactly how I was made, bit by bit,
      how I was sculpted from nothing into something.
   Like an open book, you watched me grow from conception to birth;
      all the stages of my life were spread out before you,
   The days of my life all prepared
      before I’d even lived one day.

Genesis 25:23- The Message Translation–  Isaac prayed hard to God for his wife because she was barren. God answered his prayer and Rebekah became pregnant. But the children tumbled and kicked inside her so much that she said, “If this is the way it’s going to be, why go on living?” She went to God to find out what was going on. God told her,
Two nations are in your womb,
      two peoples butting heads while still in your body.
   One people will overpower the other,
      and the older will serve the younger.

Jeremiah 1:5- The Message Translation– “Before I shaped you in the womb,
   I knew all about you.
Before you saw the light of day,
   I had holy plans for you:
A prophet to the nations—
   that’s what I had in mind for you.”

Galatians 1:15- The Message Translation– I’m sure that you’ve heard the story of my earlier life when I lived in the Jewish way. In those days I went all out in persecuting God’s church. I was systematically destroying it. I was so enthusiastic about the traditions of my ancestors that I advanced head and shoulders above my peers in my career. Even then God had designs on me. Why, when I was still in my mother’s womb he chose and called me out of sheer generosity! Now he has intervened and revealed his Son to me so that I might joyfully tell non-Jews about him.

Below are Crisis Pregnancy Resources available to you immediately.  If you are pregnant and just don’t know what to do, please call one of these resources near you today.

Adoption Option- Aurora Colorado- 303-695-1601

Colorado Pregnancy Center- Aurora Colorado- 303-306-6400

New Beginnings Home for Mothers- Aurora Colorado- 800-720-6667

Campus Caring Pregnancy Center- Boulder Colorado- 303-492-8778

Mother House- Boulder Colorado- 303-447-9602

Family Life Services- Colorado Springs Colorado- 719-632-4661

Mary Weslin Homes- Colorado Springs Colorado- 719-392-5854

Alternatives Pregnancy Center- Denver Colorado- 303-295-2288

Caring Hands Pregnancy Center- Denver Colorado- 303-916-4522

Treasure House- Denver Colorado- 303-863-9397

Colorado Christian Services- Englewood Colorado- 303-761-7236

Alpha Center for Women at CSU- Fort Collins- 970-491-4872

Alternatives Pregnancy Center- Lakewood Colorado- 303-969-9369

Bridgeway Maternity Home- Lakewood Colorado- 303-969-0515

Alternatives Pregnancy Center- Littleton- 303-795-1331

Spectra Pregnancy Center- Northglenn- 303-457-4547

Shannon’s Hope- Wheat Ridge- 303-477-3582

United States Abortion Statistics:

-In the United States, nearly 40% of women who get pregnant have an abortion.

-About 50% of all pregnancies are unplanned

-35% of pregnant teens end up getting an abortion.

-According to the latest records in 2006, 200,420 abortions occurred among teenagers that year alone, the majority of these teens between the ages of 15-19 years old.

-The average age that individuals lose their virginity is 17 years old, and the average age where individuals get married is 27 years old.

-2 out of every 100 women have an abortion each year.  Many of these women have had abortions before.

-In looking at teens and young adults, more than 52% of abortions obtained are by women who are under the age of 25

-Around 66% of all abortions are obtained by single women

-Teenagers obtain 19% of total US abortions

-Most abortions (88%) occur in the first 8 weeks of pregnancy

-Teenagers are more apt to get a late abortion in the second or third trimester

-.3% of all abortions cause hospitalization for the woman

Worldwide Abortion Statistics:

-There are 1.28 billion woman in the world who are in the childbearing years (ages 15-44).  About 6 million women a year become pregnant.

-77% of women in developed countries (including the USA) have had sex.

-According to the National Abortion Federation, 4 out of every 5 Americans have had sex by 20 years of age.

-More than 25% of women in the world get an abortion.

-There are approximately 46 Million abortions every year worldwide.  This equates to approximately 126,000 abortions per day.

-About 26 Million women obtain legal abortions each year, while 20 Million abortions are obtained in places where it is restricted by law.

-Worldwide, the lifetime average is about 1 abortion per woman.

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