Pornography defined, is photography, videography, and/or illicit paintings, and/or cartoons that are designed to arouse sexual passions in the viewer- and is probably one of the least spoken of, significant “spiritual” problems among teens today. In circles of friends and at public schools, pornography is widely accepted as “cool”. It is accepted that “Everybody looks at porn.” It requires no relationship, no marriage, no commitment, and seems to provide you with unlimited sexual possibilities. You may think- “watching pornography doesn’t hurt anyone else so what’s the big deal?” The truth is, pornography not only hurts the people that indulge in it, but it can also hurt the families of those addicted to it. Pornography hurts families! Not only does it work to make people more shallow in their relationships- seeking sex rather than friendship and marriage, it gives the viewer unrealistic and perverted expectations when it comes to sex. Viewers of pornography are less likely to be satisfied in a monogamous marriage relationship because of their constant desire for someone or something new and different. In marriage relationships, a porn addict’s sexual expectations may overwhelm that of their partner causing sexual dissatisfaction within the relationship, and a wandering eye for other potential extramarital partners. Pornography also plays a big role in divorce today as mentioned in the statistics portion of this web page.
When you open yourself to pornography, you are opening yourself up to lust. What you probably won’t hear from your friends, is that lust is like a drug. It promises you satisfaction, but it causes you to constantly chase after this “satisfaction” while you will never really be able to experience it. It causes you to always need to see something or someone new that will arouse you more than you were before. It opens the gateway to a dark insatiable sexual path. In reality, with lust you will never be satisfied. Rather you become an addict, always chasing after the rush but never truly feeling satisfaction. In the end, you will only experience sadness, loneliness, and the inability to experience the true intimacy that God intended for men and women in a marriage relationship. Pornography is extremely damaging to anyone that indulges in it. If you desire to have a family someday accompanied by true intimacy with one wife or husband, pornography would be your number one enemy.
Another danger in pornography is that it tends to be in most cases a very private activity. People view it without anyone ever knowing about it. In reality please remember- you know about it and God knows about it. Though it is typically a private activity, its effects can and will become evident sooner or later in life. It will take any purity that is in your heart, and stomp on it with dirty boots. It is like an infection on your relationship with God. If left untreated, it can cause a spiritual separation from our Creator.
If you currently view pornography and would like to know if you have an addiction problem, there is one way to find out- Try to stop. If you find it extremely difficult or even impossible to stop looking at pornography, there’s a strong possibility that you are in fact sexually addicted to pornography. In this case you may need spiritual and professional help. Like any other addiction, it will require “detox” (a time period of complete separation from the porn), and counseling that gives you the tools to withstand urges going forward. Those that recover from pornography addictions can have prosperous lives and healthy intimate monogamous marriage relationships, but must always be on guard ready to use these learned tools for a lifetime. It will be a life long struggle, but it does get easier when you discover how awesome relationships can be when they are as God intended them to be. Counseling resources will be listed at the end of this page.
What does God’s Word say?
Matthew 5:27-28- The Message– “You know the next commandment pretty well, too: ‘Don’t go to bed with another’s spouse.’ But don’t think you’ve preserved your virtue simply by staying out of bed. Your heart can be corrupted by lust even quicker than your body. Those leering looks you think nobody notices—they also corrupt.”~ Jesus
Exodus 20:17- The Message– “No lusting after your neighbor’s house—or wife or servant or maid or ox or donkey. Don’t set your heart on anything that is your neighbor’s.”~ One of the 10 Commandments
1 Thessalonians 4:3-5- ESV– “For this is the will of God, your sanctification: that you abstain from sexual immorality; that each one of you know how to control his own body in holiness and honor, not in the passion of lust like the Gentiles who do not know God”
Hebrews 13:4- The Message– “Honor marriage, and guard the sacredness of sexual intimacy between wife and husband. God draws a firm line against casual and illicit sex.”
James 1:14-15- ESV– “But each person is tempted when he is lured and enticed by his own desire. Then desire when it has conceived gives birth to sin, and sin when it is fully grown brings forth death.”
James 4:1-3- ESV– “What causes quarrels and what causes fights among you? Is it not this, that your passions are at war within you? You desire and do not have, so you murder. You covet and cannot obtain, so you fight and quarrel. You do not have, because you do not ask. You ask and do not receive, because you ask wrongly, to spend it on your passions.”
-Roger Charman of Focus on the Family’s Pastoral Ministries reports that approximately 20% of calls received on their Pastoral Care Line are for help with issues such as pornography and compulsive sexual behavior.
-12% of websites in the internet are pornographic- that is 24,644,172 sites
-Every second, $3,075.64 is being spent on pornography. Every second, 28,258 internet users are viewing pornography.
-40 million Americans are regular visitors to pornography websites
-1 in 3 Pornography viewers are women.
-70% of men aged 18-24 visit pornography sites in a typical month.
-In the US, internet pornography pulls in $2.84 billion per year. Worldwide this is a $4.9 billion dollar industry
-2.5 billion emails per day are pornographic
-25% of all search engine requests are pornography related. This is 68 million searches per day.
-35% of all internet downloads are pornographic
-57% of pastors say that addiction to pornography is the most sexually damaging issue to their congregations (Christians and Sex Leadership Journal Survey- March 2005)
-Utah has the nation’s highest online pornography subscription rate per thousand home broadband users.
-47% of families said pornography is a problem in their home (FOTF Poll)
-The Internet was a significant factor in 2 out of 3 divorces (American Academy of Matrimonial Lawyers in 2003)
-The largest consumers of internet pornography are in the 12-17 age groups (2007 poll)
-34% of internet users have experienced unwanted exposure to porn either through pop up ads, misdirected links or emails.
-There are 116,000 searches for child pornography every day.
-Young people with significant exposure to sexuality in the media were shown to be significantly more likely to have had intercourse at ages 14-16 (Report in Pediatrics, April 2006)
-“Never before in the history of telecommunications media in the US has so much indecent and obscene material been so easily accessible by so many minors in so many American homes with so few restrictions”- US Dpt of Justice post hearing memorandum of Points and Authorities, ACLU v. Reno, 929 F. Supp. 824 (1996)
-The average age at which a child first sees porn online is 11
-20% of men admit to watching porn online at work compared to 13% of women
-The least popular day of the year for viewing pornography is Thanksgiving, while the most popular day of the week for viewing pornography is Sunday.
-76% of victims in Net-initiated sexual exploitation cases were 13-15, 75% were girls. “Most cases progressed to sexual encounters”- 93% of the face to face meetings involved illegal sex (Journal of Adolescent Health, November 2004)
-10% of adults admit to internet sexual addiction. 28% of these adults are women.
Other Pornography Addiction Counseling Resources:
Front Range Counseling Center– www.denversexaddict.com – 303-933-5800 Serving Southeast Denver and Littleton.
Glowe Counseling– Moshe Raozdzial LPC- Pornography and Cybersex Addiction Therapy- 303-399-2314
Westside Behavioral Care, Inc– Sexual Addiction Disorder Therapy- 303-986-4197
RecoveryLife- 24 Hour Porn Addiction Treatment Referral Helpline- 800-315-2056